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Originally Posted by xjekkax
I am sooo bad a dealing with my emotions. The most recent therapist said i should journal. I have been sometimes But i find myself censoring a journal that only i read. Is that weird? How many people really censor something no one else is ever even going to care to read? and will never find. I find myself omitting things that happened.
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not weird at all. i find it hard to keep a journal (well one that isn't blank..i've bought many notebooks in the hope of making a new start, and now all i have are a bunch of blank books!)
i censor my journal writings 1. because i'm paranoid someone else might read it and think badly of me and 2. because i'm a perfectionist 3. it's so hard to be truthful with myself about my emotions. most of the time i dont really understand what i'm feeling or why, so it's that much harder to put what i'm feeling into words if i can't understand what i'm feeling in the first place.
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Maybe they are just to painful to deal with and I don't feel like working thru them yet. But i don't know if i can ever admit to somethings that happen.
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this. this is another reason why journaling doesn't really work for me. i'm a visual and auditory learner. i learn and express things easily through hearing and seeing the world around me...writing can be good when you're ready to physically write down your emotions and see the words and come to a concrete realization about your feelings. sometimes (in my experience) i just can't find the words myself. when that happens, i usually draw, or paint, but what really helps me is singing and playing my guitar/piano. if i'm feeling sad but am not sure what's causing those feelings, i just play/sing a sad song and that helps me feel my emotions..its hard for me to assess and write down my feelings if i don't fully feel them first. hope that helps
el
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