I know it's getting bad, but I can't bring up the courage to ask for help. I haven't told any member of my family. I have taken an anti-anxiety med to see if it could help, to have a clearer mind. I don't know what it is this time, I just can't seem to ask for help, I feel weak, I feel like I'm past help.I see my pdoc on Monday, I keep telling myself I"m okay, and that's what I would tell others, irl that is.

I'll continue to take the meds, and go to work, and get finances under control. I'll keep telling myself I'm fine. I will keep myself safe.

Finances are done, now just trying to let the meds kick in. If I have to live on meds, I will, Just to stay able to go to first days of classes, which is next week. I have to be there that first day, and then maybe afterwards I can get additional help... but not until after the fist class of each class... If this means going in to the hospital on Thursday night, then so be it. I"ll force myself to wait that long, to ignore what could happen, and just get the things done that I need to, to get my life in order before any hospitalizations.