(((((unhappyguy))))) Please forgive my ignorance on this question.
If you hate being gay, are you attracted to women at all?

I so sorry about your health issues, especially how it effects your sex life.
Also wish your therapist was more help to you, could you consider getting another one?

I am straight but made terrible choices with men over & over...so I can relate.

Not much help here, just wanted you to know someone read your post & cares.