A lot of how you respond is related to who you are and your emotional makeup. I struggle with similar issues. Sometimes detaching is the best you can do. I agree with the other posters -- trying to identify those things that trigger your strong feelings is an important step. I have done a lot of work to try to find my triggers, It helps a lot but even so I want to run away rather than face the music. In some cases if the confrontation involves verbal abuse it is often the only wise thing to do --to walk away