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mlyn said:
Smober

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I LOVE IT!!!!

As for it getting easier and experiencing the emotions, yes - feel as angry as you want. I had to remind myself that I was mourning a friend. The one friend that was with me, without judgement, whether I was happy, sad, angry, depressed, or any other kind of mood - this friend was with me - no matter what. And then, without warning I decided to let the friend go. When I allowed myself to grieve for this friend, it started to get a little easier.

I cried helplessy for many many days but it did get better.

First time I gave up was for 5 years. Then in a fit of depression, I started again. Then I gave up (more out of a sense of duty than wanting to) just before my wedding - that lasted just short of a year. I do not recall starting again as it happened whilst I was undergoing ECT. Anyway, 8 months later by MY choice I gave up for the third time. And that is the 6 months (now 7) that I mentioned.

I think that I am trying to say that you have done very well. It is very hard - just like any addiction.

You have strength!!!!

Keep posting - it is a good distraction.