had therapy today...was really helpful, and I feel somewhat calmer...
My therapist was really great today, explaining how I'm not going crazy, what I am experiencing is a natural and normal part of what I have been through....and the lack of efexor(have been on both efexor and remeron for 6 months) would naturally loosen all the held in feelings...

so I'm trying my best to live through this chaos with awareness and compassion...and its not easy...
but it is slightly calmer inside now...