What's up bas? I know you don't have a therapist - I can tell from your post. There are usually referral centers around - try a local college counseling center, telephone hotline, ANYWHERE. This is important, YOU are important, and you need someone looking after you. Six years is six years too long, and I know you are so tired and don't have the energy to find someone, and feel like "why bother it's not going to work," but your brain tells you strange things when it's not getting what it needs. You know, the hardest thing in the world is to try to get help when you feel the way you do, but that's because this world has bizarre priorities and mental health is not one of them. No, it's not fair that you have to work so hard to find help. But you can get online and complain about it, which is pretty fun. Hang in there and fight - I know... it's so hard.