Thanks. Your right. I'm struggling inside, but trying to support her also. Posting here helps. My therapist helps. My home life has been strained, but at least it is a home. Going to church helps. I pray sometimes. I practise self-soothing when I can. I have to prepare myself for the reality of her leaving this world. I will get on, I guess. I've become confident with my ability to endure hardship. It is recovering from hardship to bewilders me. I became hardened in the past. Allowing my self to soften, to give and receive love and affection, has been as difficult as enduring hardship, if that makes any sense. The reality that she might soon leave this world soon leaves me helpless and almost resigned to the hardships to come. She has given me comfort and affection and I have given her the same. I have overlooked and adapted to her shortcoming and she mine. I will love her with all my heart until she slips away. I pray I can hold her hand and soothe her as she goes. God, does this hurt..