I don't know the history here but from reading this one thread I think you have been brave. There is no way you are a huge failure in everyone's eyes. You have reached out to someone and in effect asked for help. That is so brave and courageous. I think that people are more concerned about you as they care and would like to help you. Sending you hugs and strength to help you get through.(((((((EverythingCanWait)))))))