It sounds like your anoretic and tempting fate. What makes you hate or fear food? How long has this been an issue? Did something trigger all of it? My fear started by very low self esteem and athletics at the age of four where we were expected to be petite. Gymnastics! I heard enough to instill fear in me and it grew from there because I never quit sports, had poor coaches and no one to work it thru with. I'm now 38 and have crippling side effects. I hope you can find an awnser for what has made you feel this way. Peace