Hi all....I'm bipolar and have a history of self harm in my late teens. It then just stopped.

Sadly, very sadly, for the first time in 10 years I cut my thighs 5 times last night and enjoyed every second of it. I was frantically crying before i did it and I stopped crying instantly as the blade cut through my skin. I was careful not to cut too deep so that i would need medical attention so cut carefully but I did bleed alot. I kept the tissue paper I seeped the blood in and looking at it also brought me some comfort. Today, I keep feeling the cuts and look at them when I can....it comforts me. I strongly want to do it again right now....and really could do with some words of wisdom. I have my blade in a nice trincket box as if a little piece of treasure. Does that make sense to anyone?

Thanks for reading