I'm trying to nudge you to answer your own implicit question. It is my belief that you already know the answer. It's just that you haven't asked yourself the right question.

Why didn't you go to university?

Do you feel like you are not "really" an artist? An impostor?

What is it that makes you feel like you are being asked to be dutiful? Why is this a chore, rather than e.g. an opportunity?

Lar