I just noticed that I'm surrounded by bears. I'm glad you're friendly bears and are on my side.

Candy, I really do relate to what you're saying. But there is a difference too. I've always identified with the have-nots, and have lived most of my life maybe just barely above poverty level. I can't imagine money ever not being tight. But now we should have enough. We have an adequate house, and my husband has a good job (he's the lowest-paid administrator in the state and they will never give him a raise because the government is cheap and can get away with it, but that's better than a lot of people have it), and I have two jobs (that add up to full time and don't pay enough to cover my tuition but that's what student loans are for, right?). I shouldn't have that much to ask for. We have built up student loans and some credit card debt, and hospital bills, and can't afford a second car after losing two of them last fall, but I shouldn't be living crisis to crisis. I want too much, and haven't been willing to give up what I want. The things I'm depending on people to help with aren't necessities.

Candy, you are in a position where it is only right for people to step in and help. I'm really not though. I feel second-class and I act second-class and I try to pretend to be someone I'm not. You will pay it forward when you get the chance to. I try to do that. I've even given away a car because someone needed it more than I did at the time, but someone had given me the car in the first place, and I hadn't even taken good care of it. But I need to stop being helpless and expecting people to do things for me that I should either let go of or figure out a way to do for myself. I have never been independent in my whole life. There is something wrong with this picture. Financial stuff is just one aspect too.

Rap