Hello there,

I am currently living with my boyfriend of 6 months in India. I joined him here a month ago and I'm getting more and more frustrated. He is British, and have a very good income from his house that he rents out. He also has various savings. Life in India is ridiculously cheap, and we will stay till end of April. I noticed whilst we were in the UK that he doesn't like to spend his money at all, which did not affect me too much at the time. I was a full-time university student but I had clients for massage, so I was OK with money. After that I went travelling in Peru, and I am now in India with him.

Now I have limited amount of money to spend for the next 4 months before I return to the UK. So, I was extremely upset when I was robbed in our home: my expensive camera, and many other things disappeared. Non of his stuff, because he kept everything in the safe, but he didn't put my things there. I had no idea that this quiet place could have thiefs, so I wasn't very worried about hiding my stuff. However, when I discovered what happened I was extremely upset, for I have not much valuables left. I was rubbed many times recently, must be some bad karma I guess....

Anyway, he did nothing to make me feel better, all he said he was sorry that he didn't put my stuff to the safe, too. Unfortunately, I have no extra few hundred pounds for another camera at the moment. Not to mention the many other items the thiefs took...

I had a boyfriend previously, who would buy me anything I needed. I remember when I lost my mobile on our 3rd date, the next day he bought me another more expensive mobile. Or anytime I lost anything he always replaced it for me. I miss him very much, because he always made me feel special and communicated his love towards me in many ways.

My new boyfriend talks and behaves in the same way with everyone in his life. He calls everybody "darling, babe, love, etc...". I don't mind, but I want him to make me feel at least a little more special than anybody else in his life. I give him lots of love and cook for him, etc. I do everything a woman can do. But he takes me for granted, and he things he doesn't have to do anything to make me feel better. He starts to read a book if i am upset, and he says "oh, I have to separate your issues from mine...". He read somewhere that if anyone has a problem they should deal with it, it's not his problem. He comes to India for many years now, and has lots of friends here. I have no friends here at all, but I am trying to blend in with his friends, do my best I can even though sometime I feel it's tiering and I put on a smile when I don't really feel like it. But I do it to make him feel good, and I don't want to give him "headache" about me feeling slightly lonely here, because I feel the lack of connection with people here (mainly from UK).

Now, this man is 25 years older than me, a matured, bright person. He tries to deal with everything in an intellectual way, and this slowly drives me crazy. He always finds a reason why he shouldn't treat me differently from other people, why he shouldn't buy me things, etc.

I can't stand it! I do like him a lot, in fact before I went to Peru I told him that I feel that I'm falling for him. He was happy to hear that, but he said nothing back. And ever since, he never told me he loves me, all he says: I like you more and more every day.

I think I need more than that, but I don't know what to do. WHen I'm single I don't miss presents or little treats from anyone. I feel stronger even. But when I am with a man I would like to feel special.

Basically, other than his stingyness he is OK. People like him, he is calm and layed back. Sometime I miss his "free child" though. He is in the "adopted child" state most of the time, and very serious. When he laughs I don't feel that it's a proper laugh, and I don't think he is relaxed as much as he looks like. I talked to him all about the aforementioned issues, but he always gives an explanation and we end the conversation with me having to accept that he won't change his habbits (being stingy, for example...).

My question is: what should I do? I don't want to leave him, because we get on well in the mean time, and we have great sex life, too. I just miss that one little part of being treated sometimes. After all, I'm 32 and he is 58 (but handsome and charming)..................

Since my former boyfriend I couldn't form a proper relationship, and I think it's because I would like my man be like he was, generous and wonderful with me and others, too. Deep down I know that this is the main problem really.....

The age is not a problem, I like older man. Not the first time....

Thank you for any replies!