I agree with all that Niko said about the meds.

One thing I'd like to add though is that instead of seeing meds as an all-or-none thing, you could try going on either low doses of meds, or try meds are less potent in general. Of course, both of these options would be less optimal than going full-on into a heavy dose of meds, but if you know that you'll be non-compliant with such a plan... it would be better to try to find some middle ground.

What meds were you on before, and for how long? Sometimes doctors try to bombard you with anti-psychotics to kill the mania, instead of doing a more gradual course of mood stabilizers and/or anti psychotics to stabilize you. In some cases this is necessary and prevents much harm, in others it's not.

If you are currently functioning without meds, you could probably opt for the latter option. But the longer you wait, the more likely you'll need the former. Good luck to you, I agree that meds suck.

Jessie