Life is tough, and i know how you feel with the trust issues. i never tell my friends or family whats wrong with me. This world is a scary place when you're alone, I've also wished to just die numerous times in my life. Therapy does help, keep asking your parents to take you to see one, it really does help. I hope you count me and the many people here at pc that want to help you as your friends. If you need someone to talk to msg me.