I'm so stressed and I hope I can make myself clear enough because this problem is causing my bipolar to really swing and I need some help, seriously. I tried to cut myself over it last week b/c I was at my wits end. I'm not sure how to fix any of it or if I can.

Fist of all there were many circumstances that lead to me deciding to put my daughter into foster care when she was little and it was like ripping my arm off and giving it to someone else. I tried to keep her at home but she was becoming dangerous to other people in the home. I don't want to go into the things that happened but we were in counseling and I tried so hard to have her come back home but she'd gone through many foster homes. I was a part of all of the meetings and always there to have regular visitation. The program she was a part of was one that was specifically for kids with intense behavioral problems. Pretty soon she didn't want to take her meds, she was in and out of juvy and she refused to see me. After 33 foster homes I didn't know what to do and had a family at home as well. I know she's hurting and I have always loved her but she feels like I gave up on her. I'm hurting so badly that it's hard to live with myself. Sometimes I don't want to anymore. I feel like I tried so hard but nothing ever worked. I myself have bipolar and it makes my bipolar crazy to this day when I try to deal with it all. Recently over the holidays she wrote to me and told me I gave up on her and how she would never do that to her daughter. Well, I wanted to end it all and I still have a little of that happening now. My partner doesn't really understand all of the mood disorder problems and when I try to talk about it she almost defends my daughter. I understand she was young and I was the mom. I feel like I did what I could and tried so hard, now I just feel guilty, sad and so angry. I want it to end and I want to fix it but I can't. It gets on all of my other relationships and everything I do is effected. I feel like I can barely function and I want to cry all the time. I'm easily irritated at people that have nothing to do with it and I just want to crawl in a hole. How do I make it better? Is it possible? My heart is breaking