I'm so sorry, sweetie, that you are and have been going through this. You will get through it. Everything gets better in the end, and if it's not better it's not the end. Your daughter's anger is her own, and no one can get through that but her. I have no doubt that you made the right decision. It isn't your fault that she feels failed by "the system". It doesn't sound like she has done much to help herself. You did what you could and there can't be a better mom than that.

My aunt gave a daughter up because she was too messed up to be a good mother. It has since taken a while, but her daughter and her now have a great relationship. It took maturity on the daughter's part to see that my aunt did what she could at the time and tried to give her the world. Your daughter will see that someday I hope.

Prayers with you.