LoveShelly,

There's nothing wrong with you that clarity can't fix.

You stated EVERYONE'S problem exceptionally well. You see the confusion, you see the love inside you but you don't see how to leave the confusion and just enjoy being you?

That is the problem of 7 billion people on the planet. What makes you different is that you're trying to solve this puzzle and not escape from it.

Society did its number on your mind. Since you were a baby, you've been told zillions of times that you're something that you're not. That repetition became habitual thinking in your unconscious mind that run so deep that you can't see it. You can sense something is at play but can't put your finger on it.

I'm so sincere when I praise your assessment. I was exactly there, in my version of your situation until 2.5 years ago. I kept saying to myself that something key is missing in my understanding of life. Like a huge puzzle piece is missing and without it I can't solve the puzzle. I could feel the gap in my understanding but not see the cause.

I found the cause when I stumbled onto a guy named Osho. He spoke to people for 35 years and published 600 books of his talks on exactly this. I got my life back from living for logic instead of for love. Logic isn't life, and to repeat ideas about life until they become habitual thought is our mental illness...it's the illness of the world and that is not even a slight exaggeration.

No one can be happy without being ones self. These conditionings put the mind against us instead of working for us. My confusion went instantly to clarity the moment I saw the effect of conditionings...I just needed someone to point it out to me and the recognition was immediate and mine...not a belief.