WelcomeToTheJungle, you are not a loser. You are not a failure. You are not a coward. If anything, you are really really brave, for going through all this. I know exactly what you mean about all of it, I know it hurts. Please remember, we are all hear to listen and help you if you need to talk about anything (you can PM me ) and we understand. That's what I love about PC do much, is that everyone hear is willing to listen and actually cares, and that they understand. I don't feel as alone anymore. Is there a way you can let your mom know that you really need to see a doctor about this? If not, maybe talk to a guidance counselor or someone else who would be able to help. I hope you can find help for this, I know it sucks. Go cheer yourself up, go listen to Guns N' Roses some more.