Hello. I'm am 16 turning 17 in march and feel very similar to you. I have severe major depression. I use to cut myself all over to my wrists all the way up to my elbo's.
All over my thighs. It got so bad I started carving stuff into my skin. Words, initials hearts, the last thing I carved was a rose because I was sick of looking at the same old stright lined cuts. My mom saw it, demanded what it was all about and after she got distracted, forgot about the whole thing. I stopped going to therapy and seeing my psych cause I felt it was all very useless. Nothing was helping. Nothing today is either. I feel like I'm sinking into a dark abyss that I can't get out of. I constantly feel the need to kill myself. The only thing really stopping me is.....fear. Now don't get me wrong, I do not fear death, but for some reason killing myself scares me.

I share all of this with you because I hope to let you know that your never alone. I know how it feels to think nobody understands. I wont say that I know exactly how you feel because I hate when people say that to me but we are very similar. I hope the best for you and I hope that we can be friends and support each other on this hard road called life