I've been struggling with the idea that I need to see if I'm better off without the meds. I think logically that I should stick with them, but emotionally I don't know how long I can keep it up. I've had hard to treat Bipolar 1 rapid cycling and mixed episode bipolar 1 after a head injury 7 years ago. I've gained about 70 lbs since I was put on meds 5 years ago. I'm a wholistic person and can't stand the idea of being on meds the rest of my life. My treatment team compare it to diabetes and often and they think I'm being ridiculous and I can't stand that.

Is there anyone out there that thinks that bipolar could just be a blip and life could be normal w/o meds???

Since the start of the meds 5 years I feel like a beached whale. I joined weight watchers a year ago and it didn't help. Although the med combination has pretty much taken care of the mania (I miss that so much) and the depression isn't as bad as it used to be.

I think the depakote is the culprit of the weight gain. It could also be the Lamictal or the Invega, but I think it's the Depakote. I'm a very young at heart and look like I'm still 30- 51 year old, but I feel the meds are making me look old. I did have treatment resistant rapid cyling with mixed episodes Bipolar 1 after a head injury 7 years ago. I cycled between mania and depression many times in a day for about 4 years and was hospitalized twice when my cutting and suicidal plans got out of hand, but I'm better now.

Last week I brought my depakote down the last week from 500 to 250 and my doc doesn't know it. It resulted with a little more emotional fallout but that's about it. My pdoc wants me to switch the Depakote and Invega to Latuda. I'm ok w/ staying on the Invega and Lamictal for now b/c they don't seem to have any side effects for me, but I really feel that a new drug will bring more problems and that maybe I could get away with lowering my meds slowly instead just to see what happens.

I go to my pdoc today and am conflicted with telling him about my plan. My therapist knows, but my pdoc doesn't . It's hard for me to keep a secret. By the same token I think I need to be true to myself and do what I feel needs to be done.

Has anyone had any success and have any ideas on how to approach this with their doc? Mine says I need to stay on them the rest of my life. What kind of life is that.