Thank you PurpleFlyingMonkeys! I just want to point out, that when you say, "I don't want to become delusional," you're making a statement that that is something you want to work on! That's all I meant. Anything you WANT to work on, you should!!
I don't like to be pushed into working on something that doesn't bother me, when there are other things that ARE bothering me. But anything YOU view as a problem, or as something that could potentially become a problem, deserves attention.
I do hope you will be able to see a T soon. You ask some very smart, self-reflective questions, and you sound so eager to work on things. It sounds like you're in a great place to begin therapy.