well my first and last question has been answered.

all that stands is my second. BUT do i go for help? im afraid they may try to persuade me its not real if it is real and then ill be hurt/killed. im a believer in torture. thing is, im in extreme distress. i know no one and it doesnt seem at all like my father can help me deeply, only really to get me somewhere.

i just dont know what to do, period. where to start, i dont know?
im extremely confused. because i feel in distress but then i dont want the curtain pulled over my eyes like it has been many times by most everyone, not just mental health pros.

i sense they are closing in on me. i can feel it in my body and see it around me. i cant explain it. well...i can. the earths gravitational pull, the skies, the flowers budding in the middle of nowhere where i stand signifying death.

i bought fast food yesterday and i found stuff in it. i knew they were trying to poison me so im only eating packaged food now. i feel in such distress because my dad doesnt believe me, I CANT GET THE POLICE OR NEWS MEDIA TO BELIEVE ME. so whos to help me? no one. its 1 against not just more than many a quarter of a million of people with LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of power. im battling alone. if i cant even get the police to help me..i dont know. not to mention the EMS/firefighters. they dont like me, i hear when im around them they are talking about me.

IN FACT when i was attending college in the spring of 2011 i had 2 of them standing on the library balcony facing and pointing at me. one would turn around look behind his shoulder than at the other guy. i walked down stairs because there was a glass between us minus them being on a balcony 20-30 feet away. i walked outside and to the other side of the building because its horseshoe shaped AND THEY FOLLOWED ME. THEY FOLLOWED ME. as if they had pretty much transported to that spot. how did they make it to that point that fast? then i went downstairs and they STILL FOLLOWED ME. i left school, i couldnt take it. i figured they were running me out of the school personally. they won..... im so alone.

that...school...they flunked me out because of grades but the underlying issue was because i stood up for my ethical rights and a teacher took revenge on my grades.
all of this and i cant say a damn thing to a police. because they think im crazy or dont believe me or something.