Candy, I wish I could help. I haven't had to learn how to give myself a break when I still have to please other adults in the household. It's just me and the kids. When they get too demanding at the same time I need some downtime, I just tell them "Look, I'm tired, things have been stressful, give me a break." They're old enough to understand it, because they're having their own stressful adolescent times. If they can understand it, I sure hope your sister can.

I understand about wanting/needing/not wanting to ask for help/not wanting to need help. Damn viscious circle.

I want help.
I don't want to ask for help.
I need help.
I'm not going to ask for help.
I want help.