I just read the guilt by association feelings you are having. I am so very sorry you feel this way. You have no shame for being a good friend, or for being a good sister. This is not your shame to bare and never was. It is a poopy part of life and it stinks, but it is not you. You are full of love and hope. You are the beautiful flower reminding us to stop and look and pay attention to what is here, now. I wish you peace.