I think, like if you're gay, the hardest person to come out to is yourself. Not saying you're gay, you're posting this under PTSD, I'm just using that for an example. After you REALLY figure it out for yourself, it's like retelling a story. But with the first person, ie yourself, you have to break thru to the truth for the first time, like breaking a trail through the woods, and it's just not that easy. It's not that clear. But I have to say, I have never seen any weakness in your writing here. One of my posts got messed up a while ago and didn't get to you, but in it I said you were a strong young voice on this site. Anyway, you have a lot of support here.