Larry, I've been going around in circles...
I remember before.... I have a poem from the "old"me,

I wasn't held as a child...

Once again I find myself saying good bye,
knowing things will never be the same,
I can't stop these tears no matter how hard I try,
cherishing and remembering that sacred name,
So many times in the past I have experienced this,
such love and sorrow together as one,
for so many I have given my farewell kiss,
each one a memory and yet reality non,
I search my soul for some reason why,
and reach into my heart for some form of comfort,
but all I can do is break down and cry,
wondering if he could sense how much I hurt,
As time goes by I sit alone,
wondering of his health and overall condition,
hoping his new companion will ring my phone,
reassuring me I have left him in a good position,
But for all of my weeping and negative feeling,
I can't help but experience a little joy,
and start the process of my broken hearts healing,
because of the time I spent with that special boy.

I wrote that poem for my first dog, Bobby, after I had to give him away and before I changed....
I feel like a true gemini... I have two very different personalities...before I changed the two were emotional..... but now one is emotional and controlled and the other, well, won't get into that.
I know you're trying to help me and I want it very much.... I feel sooo confused {sigh}
Patricia xx