good for you. 4 days of sobriety!!!! re your being scared about going to a mtg. everyone that is there had to go thru that same door for the first time too. they all know how you feel and will welcome you for coming. it does get better and you'll make supportive ppl there as i did. keep us posted. we care and understand. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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