<font color=purple>So I reply to myself. The latest in my endeavor to fight the enemy: I insisted that I could NOT possibly go to mediation in the morning because I don't function in the morning.

My eyes can't see because of the loosened gel inside them from the head trauma, float to the top... and I'm required to sleep on my back.

The pain is so bad when Iwake, I hate that I have once again awaken. It takes all I can do to wait till the pain meds begin to work from the 4 hour of sleep/reprieve... (but that has changed too since I quit the meds)

I have ptsd... anxiety, depression... and anytime something new is being done the next day, I GET NO SLEEP the night before...

and so, how would I possibly argue for myself... not counting the traffic I absolutely have panic within... in the morning.

SO? My attorney's office called me ONE MORNING. Said, you WILL agree to mediate at 8 am right? No. I'm not functional in the mornings. Ok, but, he's a good mediator. You will come at 8am RIGGHT?

Ok. I'll try. NO, YOU WILL? I'll try. Forget this. I have plans. All I have to do is settle... and die. I will have won twice.

<font color=blue> Character is who you are when no one is looking </font color=blue>