I know that in my own case, I have really craved talking to my abuser. He was my best friend's ex fiance and when the assault happened and we reported it to the police, after he was released on bail, he skipped out of the country. I do want to ask him why. Why did he attack me, when his fiance was in the other room sleeping, completely willing sexually? What was he thinking? Why me? Is he still doing things to whoever, wherever he is?

Also, on another note, I really, truly, want to forgive him someday. I want to get to the point that I can say to him "I forgive what you did. I hope you are able to forgive yourself and make peace with God." But I have to be able to do that honestly, and I'm not there yet. I'll probably never get the chance.

I have often thought of contacting his parents. They tried to contact me through a letter a couple years ago, but I burned the letter in the sink before I read it. I have since Googled them and have been tempted to write them. I just don't know if it would do any good or only cause them harm. I have learned that they have since completely disowned the fact that they even have a son.

And I don't believe it's EVER the child's fault. My husband and his older siblings had a lot of sexual reenactment of sexual abuse and I honestly don't blame any of them. They were kids. It falls back on the parents. Why weren't they being monitored? How were the parents naive to this over so many years? When they finally were old enough to realize what they were doing was wrong, it was too late, and the damage was done to all of them sexually. Now they all deal with guilt and his older brother has serious sexual psychiatric problems. The parents have never acknowledged it as a family issue since it came out in the open and they were told. Very frustrating for me as it "trickled down" through 8 children in their own home. Who knows how each child will deal with it.