I know a lot of people have varying opinions on this type of situation, and mine has bounced around a lot, too. I'm wondering how people feel about approaching having a talk about moving in with a partner (outside of marriage or engagement, I mean). I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half, and since the summer, we have pretty much informally lived together even though I pay rent at another apartment. We were long distance for about a year before that, and I brought this up to him during the time before I had moved back to where he lives (because of a new job), and he was uncomfortable with the conversation and let me know he wasn't ready. I have not brought it up since, but I pretty much sleep at his apartment 99% of the time, other than times when he has family in town who stay over, and out of respect, I stay at my own place.

To be honest, I share a place with a roommate, but I don't really feel at home there. She is nice, and fine, but she lived there before I moved in and I feel more like it is "her" place, and I am imposing. I would not be able to afford my own apartment if I didn't rent there--but when we had the "talk" about potentially living together, he expressed fears about what would happen if we had a big fight and needed our own space, which is totally valid and I understand and respect that. Some time has passed since that conversation (uh, over a year) and as I said, we're pretty much doing this as it is. I would like to bring this up again, perhaps suggest that we revisit this in the spring or summer, and see how he responds. What do people think? I know many are against living together before marriage for a myriad of reasons, and I kind of used to think this, too. But I have found someone I'm really comfortable with, who I enjoy being with and feel at home around. Besides that, we now have two cats together- and I really enjoy being with the cats, too! (This may sound dumb to some, but I am an animal lover and prefer being around pets if I can. I'm not allowed to have an animal in my other apartment). I also feel like I am wasting money paying for an apartment I never use, and that I would rather contribute to the expenses I am actually sharing. And although I could not afford to get my "own" apartment, I want to be clear that wanting to move in isn't a financial decision- it is a relationship one. I want to take that step. If he is not ready, I can find a new roommate and try a different situation, I am okay with that option too.

Thanks in advance for feedback.