Hello, I am new to these forums and have decided to give a rather brief description of my current life and perhaps ask for some help, if you would be so kind.

My name is Samuel, I am 16 years old, and am fairly intelligent. Recent events have rendered me with paralyzing fear, such as me revelation to the school about my father's drug use. I have self-damaged myself in the past and my mind is constantly clouded with fears of my recent future, since my far future is more or less set in stone. I came asking guidance. My world is currently one huge confusing mess.

I have no mother, she abandoned me, so that's out. My father has fled in fear of punishment from the law (I believe). The school does not know this. I am, since last night, living in a house by myself. I'll be honest, I am afraid. The only thing that is keeping me alive at this point is my friends and the hope for my future. Were it not for those things, I would have ended it a long time ago.

I am extremely socially awkward and paranoid as to what people think about me. Even my closest friends, I have problems believing that they love me the way they do. I believe that most of this was caused by my father and that I was extreme dependence issues and project him onto every body. However, I can go into my father's other problems another post.

I actually aspire to go into the field of psychology/psychiatry (Irony, huh?) and am resolved to have all my issues sorted out before then. Hopefully, this site and community can help with that.

I thank you for reading that wall of text, and, if you are still here, welcome your encouragement, advice, constructive criticism and support. I do, however, ask that if you have anything hurtful, offensive, or otherwise mean to say, please refrain from placing your fingers onto your keyboard, as clearly that is not what anybody in this forum needs.

Thank You

~ Samuel Cross-Meredith