Even though nobody on here knows me, I'm still really embarrassed talking about this. I just want to see if anyone else has felt the same way.

I'm a 24 year old female. Ever since I was 11 or so, I've never felt right being who I am. Sometimes I feel like I'm not supposed to be a female. I don't believe I'm supposed to be a male. I don't want to dress in men's clothes (although I am more comfortable in gym shorts, hoodies, somewhat baggy sweatpants, hats, etc). I've never felt comfortable being a female. I usually feel better hiding my body. If I go out, I dress more girly because I feel like that's how I'm supposed to dress, even if I'm very uncomfortable in those clothes. It was worse when I was younger. I remember crying when I got my first period and thinking it was the worst day of my life. I used to try to stand when peeing. I always wondered what it would be like to live as a boy. Those last two aren't issues anymore. I think they ended around the time I got into high school. Now I just feel very uncomfortable being a girl. I'm embarrassed. I'm ashamed. I feel like a freak.

I've looked up stuff on gender identity and I'm 99.9% sure I don't have Gender Identity Disorder. I did find on one site that gender identity issues could be associated with BPD. Has anyone else with BPD had this problem? If so, how did you deal with it? What did you think/feel about yourself? I don't really know what to do/think/feel/say about this, so any help would be appreciated.