I followed my plan today in therapy, and told my T that I just tell people I love that I love them, and I was worried that sometime when we hugged, I would just blurt it out that I love him, and then would spend the next week worrying he thought I meant something I didn't. Or in the alternative, I'd have to be on guard all the time to try to prevent myself from saying it. I went over the stuff that I planned to that I mentioned in my last thread. He smiled really big and looked relieved, and told me how much he appreciated me bringing this up, he KNEW how awkward it was and he also "had feelings of love" for me. He clarified he was NOT in love with me and we weren't crossing any lines into romantic stuff. He also talked about fears of being misunderstood, and his fear of not being able to be a therapist because there is nothing else on the planet he is good at. Which made me laugh.

So, it went really well, I think, and we were both relieved, and he went back to being himself and not so careful and reserved.

Then he wanted to talk about the CSA stuff so we spent the rest of the appointment talking about WHY I didn't want to talk about it. LOL.