Quote:
Originally Posted by splitimage
I see suicide as an inevitable outcome. For as long as I can remember I've known I'll kill myself, it's a question of when not if. .... I never expected to live past 30 and I'm now 42 - but I can't envision myself as being retired, or being old - If I look ahead, my time frame is at most 5 years and even that's pushing it.
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I got goosebumps when I read this because I didn't remember having written it ... and yet
it was me!
Ever since my attempted suicide at age eight failed, I've known that was mere rehearsal, that it wasn't my time yet. Ever since then I've known that death, when it finally came, would be by suicide.
And I didn't expect to live past 30. Certainly not old! & five more years ... Yep, that was the most I could ever imagine.
Thought I'd let you know, though, that while I still expect to end my life within the next five years, I'll be 66 in March. Plans adjust to life.
