Was able to stuff things down again there for a while because even during Trauma Recovery you get off track and other things take place that need immediate attention.

BUT, lately I have really been having a lot of flashbacks and horrible treams about Him. And, when I see things like a brown suit w/ a yellow shirt, or smell his smell, or see someone who looks like him >>> My head freaks!

Then it brings me back to that time (those many times) that he had me in his grips. And, I begin to question myself. Maybe it was my fault? Maybe I asked for it? Maybe I wanted it? Shouldn't a 12 year old know the difference between right and wrong? Did I know but do nothing? Just went along in silence?
Did I encourage him? Was I that much in need of attention that I thought it was okay?
I am sinking here in my thoughts....