I know first hand how much words hurt! I was brutally teases as a young child, muddle schooler, and quite a bit in high school. Now as an adult my mom and my brother say things that hurt so much. I don't know why I was singled out as a kid, my mom just criticizes me for every little thing but it's always over my ED regarding my brother. For those fighting with their lived ones over food being cooked or eating the only advice I have is right now agree to disagree. My mom and dad learned a long time ago they can't force me against my will. Now don't get me wrong I'll hang out with my mom and shell still try to be slick and trick me into trying to eat but having an eating disorder is a disease. I just saw my pdoc and despite where I. Am in my struggle she told me to be the captain of my own ship! Not that I have to give it up but decide if I'm going to be in control or it is. Right now your loved one is deciding who's captain it doesn't mean forever. The battle over a meal is what it is. When my family finally came to accept my position fights lessened. And working with a treatment team is important. If things have gotten too bad they've always been there to intervene. Great mediatiors. God bless.