Oddly, when my dad died a few years ago, I did grieve, but mostly for the suffering I saw my mom go through. I cried and mourned. I think I mourned the dad I never had, the dad I could have had, should have had. I mourned an idea more than I mourned the actual person. It does not bother me at all now. I must say I am glad he is dead. Everything, life is so much easier now knowing he is no longer on this earth, and I am finally, peacefully, safe.