I hate my rollercoasters ride of a life. Currently I have been down a week now and it's bad- like so down can't get out of bed. A couple days ago some of you were helping me figure out if I should go to hospital or not.

Well I'm not having as much Sui idea. But I'm still. Very depressed. I feel so bad I have no energy
I look like ****...sweats, baggy shirt no makeup-just run down.
My kids are basically raising themselves. I can barely muster the energy to open a can of soup and boil it :/
Oh & my house...wow you don't even want to see what my house looks like.

I want to get out of this damn hole. When I'm good or up or whatever it is house is immaculate, I'm exercising, scrubbing baseboards lol.

I was crying on my bed earlier saying out loud please god take my pain away...how pathetic is that.

I'm taking all my damn meds, I'm seeing pdoc once wk and t doc 2x wk (started 3 mo ago). WHYyyyyyy am I not getting any better???? I'm actually getting worse!!!!

I'm exhausted of all this. Even to sit up and write this is a huge friggen struggle. I hate this