|
S is almost my companion. It is with me always and provides me with comfort. Since I have become a full time caretaker of the mother, my companion is trapped with no way out. Thus the thoughts and former plans have grown very quiet. This quiet is scary.
As for planning for the future: I do not have a clue. I exist...I try to prepare for the day when the mother will leave me but cannot. It is hard to plan for the future when you do not have a center.
Perhaps I am trying to prepare a little by going to a clay class. It is the only thing I do for myself. I have to fight with myself to go to the class, but then hate to come home at the end of the day. A little bit all over the place...not sure what to do about changing it.
|