My step father died before I reached 18. A brother younger than me, is now a homeless alcoholic, I feel a direct result of the physical and emotional abuse we suffered at the hands of this man. A younger sister that went through therapy, still has flashbacks like I do. Not being anywhere around when he died the thing I felt at the time was no more abuse from him.

I was older, I tried to protect the younger one's, taking blame so they wouldn't be hurt. Still at times I hear their crying in my head all these years later. Just so sad, that a person could create so much lingering pain before their death and long after altering lives like it meant nothing. For me the busier I stayed not allowing much quiete time kept the cries at bay in my head , some things are too painful to deal with even now.
Sorry for you too.