When my mother died, I did grieve, but did not go to her funeral. I do not miss her;
I just miss having a real, normal loving mother. She was mentally ill and we walked on egg-shells around her daily. When I hear a song praising a really wonderful mother;
that can bring tears to my eyes; since I never had normal in my young life.

I tried very hard with my own children overcoming the mistakes she had made with
me and my siblings. I never, never wanted to be anything like her...and it has been self decipline to do what you know is right instead of what you experienced.