I thought on this question of mine a little more of a boarder range rather than specific-

In the end with my father, I had talked with him and confronted him on how horrible all of his kids grew up and used many examples- I did not talk about how he use to discipline us but with the lack of parenting and so forth- He did weep with saying he wish he could had done a better job and that us kids had more than what we received. I guess that in ways is confronting- but I myself tetter totter with was he abusive, and was it truly intentional in his case or things he just did not know how to handle?

My mother- emotional abuse, neglect, and what else can I say- I don't think she should had had kids- she hated us for her making that decision and by far did take it out on us- With her- I had at one time confronted her but she is so self absorbed that she just did not understand where I was coming from- and as always- Nothing is her fault. I never can forget what my oldest sister said -- she told our mother about the abuse that was going on, instead of a mom protecting her children she ignored the issue.

Both my parents- My dad was no better when my sister came out- he said- Well just some siblings do that-...... no, a 12 year old doing this to a 4 year old is not just some siblings doing that.

Open Eyes- Thank you for what you said- I did understand what you are meaning and thank you for clearing up the confusion which I can see where Stumpy is coming from- I think almost all are on the same page with that- It is not a Child's fault.

And Stumpy I so agree it takes a very brave and very special child to come forth and say something when an older person or power figure/adult is doing this-

LylaJean- can I ask you some thing- it is a bit on what Skeski touches on their post- do you think you would be told what you wanted or the truth or some where in between; and would you feel better with it?

I am just asking- and every human needs are different than the next.

I know for me it is like; well {abuser} did this; it did happen, I sort of know why but not entirely and just can't understand it all (sort of touches on open eye's statement that some may not truly know why they abuse/i still believe it is inability to break cycles with some)- and yeah I know abuser, you continued but for some horrible reason the mother of that child, was like our mother-and even though the Lawyer knew that- he did not further to prosecute you and the case got dropped.

I know also for me I experienced to see what my Sister had to go through... which just gave me the answer there on how my parents are/ in addition my oldest sister that I mentioned in this post about telling my mom- well oldest sister now denies that she said anything, knew anything, and that she is sorry this happened to me and my other sister. My other brother- I think he has some deep rooted issues- He is more like an angry protector; he wanted to go and find my oldest brother (and still does to this day) to do some damage on him for what he has done to me and my sister and what he knows of my other brother (sorry I have 3 brothers so I can see how this can be confusing)(but I guess the youngest of the boys he was abused too by our oldest brother- the saddest part is, he sticks with his abuse (our oldest brother) and has for years; it makes me wonder if he too is an abuser due to he does stay with our oldest brother- mind you one is like 34 and the other is 31.. adult children but in a different since than people that come on PC to try to heal the pain rather than to continue it)
My other brother that is the middle boy in our family (angry protector)- he got abuse by being beaten up when he tried to tell an adult of what was going on; by our cousin and oldest brother.

It is sad- it is horrible. I don't think there is any justification for this- I don't think any amount of sorry from people that have damaged us in one way or another can take away this sort of pain.
I guess in away with knowing some where in side of me that my dad regrets a lot, that helps me know that he is truly sorry and if he knew what he did now and had a second chance he would try to make things better... with the others that deny it (i am sorry some where they have to know part of the truth of it is wrong), like Stumpy says- TOASTY TOASTY....

Thank you all so much for reading and sharing -- I know it is hard.

I want to give you all big hugs and even ones that just read that can not open the wound up, I want to give you big hugs--- Only certain days is it that I can talk about this stuff with out breaking completely down and some times that can take a toll for weeks or months- so I do understand-



May we all learn from others mistakes, may we gather strength for ourselves and may we continue to be better than the past, and to strive for what we need for ourselves. May the sun shine and be bright one day and stay that way as well-- I know some of my falls are due to this stuff- and that was very hard to admit for quiet some time.