As indicated in previous posts, my boyfriend of two years has had a houseguest for almost three months now. The guest is a friend/business partner who is here from another country and, because the guy does not speak English, my boyfriend spends substantial amounts of time with this guy so as not to leave him alone. They are also having business problems and this is why the visit has been for so long. Our relationship has suffered due to a real lack of intimate time, but I'm trying to be patient.

We've never had a very active sex life but I was comfortable with it being once a week or so. During the last three months, we've only had sex one time and couple of additional times for other intimate activities such as oral sex. The main issue is that the only time we spend the night is at his house, so there is always someone home. There is time late at night to be intimate, but he's usually too exhausted. Again, trying to be patient.

However, last weekend, I found porn on his computer. Nothing saved or downloaded but sites visited were in his computer history. Yes, it was wrong to search his history, but I was curious about how he is able to go so long without sex when I'm getting so frustrated myself. I'm not opposed to porn in moderation (and know that most guys watch porn from time to time or even more frequently) but am concerned that he may be using it as a substitute for trying to make more of an effort with me. We could definitely be having more sex (it's not like he shares a room with anyone and neither one of us is particularly loud in the bedroom), so I am trying to figure out if there is a bigger issue.

He is very anxious about the business and also tends to smoke pot when he's worred to help him sleep...I know that both of these decrease sex drive but I'm just wondering where the porn fits in. It looked from the history as if he checks out these sites about once a day for about 10 minutes or so...I also don't know if I should bring it up since I am guilty of spying. I've never searched his computer before but have not been able to get anywhere speaking with him about this in the past. I've told him my concerns about our recent sex life and been very honest about how I feel....he just says that he has no energy to initiate and he feels very down on himself b/c of the business problems. We've also both gained weight over the last six months or so, so neither one of us is feeling at the top of our game. But, I'm of the mindset that a bit of extra "exercise" would help both physically and emotionally....

Any thoughts?