Becca, If I were you I would demand a consult for endocrine to eliminate physiological possibilities. I was referred after a simple testosterone check that revealed “Low T”. I was put on testosterone and felt much better. Consequently and unrelated, the testasterone rendered me infertile, but we want children. My endocrine then switched to HCG, which is the opposite of Testosterone that forces my body to create it naturally.... Anyway

For me, every time I get a small relief from the illness through medical intervention, I try to study it and through behavioral and cognitive therapy, I have made improvements but still cycle too. The therapy has given me tools to identify the triggers, sometimes I am able to intervene, and try to make better decisions that will not lead to a “pulling of that trigger”. I still fail, all the time, however the severity decreases every time. I'm going to one-day go into remission hopefully.

Personal Case Study:
I DO NOT advise this, but I have gone so far as to experimented with my medication. I purposely stopped taking lamictal for a period of about four weeks. I quickly realized why I needed it. I didn't ask my doc if I could do it because they would not recommend it. But, after about two weeks I fessed up simply because I had so much to report. Also, during that period I was in weekly therapy so I felt as if I had a safety net. I was keeping a journal and closely monitoring my behavior.

Off lamictal, at about the third week, I figured it was all out of my system, so I could trust the symptoms as genuine “ME”. I was able to recognize/remember one particular sensation from a long time ago. It was a familiar feeling that at the time my doctors and I believed was anxiety. But this time, w/ out the anti-convulsive med (lamictal) it was as if my frontal lobe had white noise in it, like a subtle vibration or buzzing. I was more agitated and really felt edginess, was having suicidal thoughts, could not concentrate and was much more anxious. I went back on it and the improvement was obvious once again. After a few weeks of thinking about that scenario from a slightly scientific perspective, it made sense; I had just identified a major symptom and treated it. Just knowing that one small feature of this illness was “Real” and “Treatable” was auxillarating and motivating.
Trust me, it wasn’t as easy as it sounds written down. At the time, my mind was playing tricks on me, and I could not make sense of any of these realizations until after the fact.
Every minor improvement is a small success. One smart primary care doc answered a question I had, “Why am I falling apart, why do I need all this medication?”, “Ah, you’re fine, they’re all just minor tweaks, we all need them.”she said.

So, I wonder if you are cycling over the following:
1. hormonal imbalance
2. PTSD lingering from some time in the past that has simply changed they way your brain works
3. lack of cognitive / behavioral therapies
4. short term / long term goals / attitude towards your situation
5. Wrong meds
6. all of the above -- like me