Argggggh.

This morning i met with my kids' therapists, childrens aid and my ex regarding my kids and their needs. My ex had recently got wind of a report (which is private) that recommended less time with me but more QUALITY time with me. It did NOT recommend more time with him, but since the kids' therapist doesn't know him much yet, she has decided to go with the recommendation of the report, with the added opinion that they spend more time with him. Not on a permanent basis, just until I can feel emotionally safe.

The whole sad irony to this is that the ex is the cause of me not feeling emotionally safe. But nobody hears me. Nobody wants to hear me. He has threatened to live off me, take the kids, and require me to support them 100% as well, at various times over the past four years. He also threatened to make me 'top up' his half of MY ASSETS (he had none because he spent every dime he had on himself even when he did work) ie: now he wants to eat into MY HALF of my assets. ie: threatening to take all of the assets and more than half my future income. And the G**dam lawyers are wrapped around his little finger, he's got them convinced he can't support himself. Basically agreeing to feed his narcissistic entitlement addiction. We're not talking stay at home uneducated dad here who sacrificed his career so I could go out and work. We're talking about a university educated, former VP of a major bank (top 20 in the world). I never took a break, no maternity leave, nothing. Breast fed as I was on the phone with clients, typing on the computer, getting out client files, whatever. On four hours of sleep a night! Because SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT! Just a small timing problem for me - he was running a cockamimi hobby business at the date of separation. I was working my *ss off supporting the whole family because SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT!

So, even before the meeting he already talked with his lawyer, just on the mere mention of the existence of a report, got a meeting set up with her tomorrow already. Wants to change access wording in the agreement. I see another attempt at a money grab coming. Man this guy's a weasel.

So moral of the story - never EVER EVER show emotional weakness around a narcissistic spouse when you're in the midst of divorce. He will use it as a weapon against you. If you want to divorce a lazy narcissistic ex, quit your job first. Shuffle your savings off to a safe place first. Appear to be the perfect parent but the most inept worker. Because that's exactly the game they will play and if you don't fight fire with fire, you will lose everything, including your kids. F**k morality and decency when you deal with somebody like that - it will get you killed

CRAP - the Seroquel's not working but i gotta drive somewhere and can't risk taking more. No relief for me