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hi i went to see t today, my appt was at nine but she called me that she was delayed but she would see me at 10 i was very happy about that, i always start the session with some humor to lessen my anxiety, she always asks me how are you, so i told her that i never know how to answer that question so she smiled.
i told her that my friend cboxpalace started a inner child training camp lol so that my inner child can play and have fun and when camp was over i would let my inner child come to therapy, i have never heard her laugh so hard it was funny.
then the hard part working on childhood issues omg i hate it i get so angry i feel like my body is shaking inside i feel like a little kid and she must think i am crazy because i shut out my emotions and cant cry in front of her so i stop talking. maybe a good cry would help but tears just dont come out but i am hurting inside, not just because of the past but the present also.
she then told me to stop because we had to wind down the emotions, so i told her , what do you think of me working for the crisis center answering calls for distress people, she was smiling but she wanted to laugh real bad , she said didnt u call the crisis center last week lol it was funny i guess u had to be there.
she said we are going to start next weeks session thats if somebody cancels because she was booked, but she said next session we will work on trauma again she will start and help me through it but i am not looking foward to the next session, i told her ok i spoke about it for 25 minutes did i process it yet? she said no. i am scared to go back
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