My mom was abusive to everyone. I think the only person she liked was herself as no one else measured up to her ideals.
Since my father died 10 years ago she has transferred more of hate onto me. i know that she has been mentally ill all my life but angry that my father left to work away or visit other relatives most of my life. She only cooked and cleaned the house and never allowed me to learn how to cook or clean or know about relationships.
I had finally gone for help for depression and was in a mind of mood group as she had been told that she would die at any moment and that has been now a year and a half.
i have just turned 50 and and sent her an email wishing myself a happy birthday, as she has ALS and told her how i was going to do 50 things i enjoyed or could acheive this year. Her response was i hope the rest of your life is better then your poor life before and that i should seek the team of mental health people.
I now release how much i have hated her and how i am so ready for her to go to whereever she belived she will go. I knew in my twenties that i would start liveing when she was gone. my anxiety disorted has gone out of control the couple of years as i started to throw up when she would call and talk her venom of her hate of everyone. i tried stopping all comunication with her for a couple of years but was investigated, followed arrested by this *****. i keep meditating ever morning that her negative vile energy would leave our world.
i am a very loving and compassionate person but had to live with constant judgmental hate all my life. i knew she was wrong when I was 11 years old and have let her rage as if you tried to object hell would be raised.
i am so looking forward to feeling the release i know will happen.