Becca, this and a number of your other posts just ring alarm bells like crazy for me.

Priests aren't trained in couples counseling the way a therapist would be - and it didn't really sound like your husband's participating in that (but maybe I misread). It sounds like it's becoming a pretty unhealthy relationship, and more so with time. And no matter how things go, family would probably demonize you for anything that went "wrong" because of the MI. Grrrr...

I'd never advocate for the breakup of a relationship that involves kids unless it's intolerable and unhealthy. It sounds to me like this is approaching that situation - maybe not today, this week, this month, this year, but if things don't change...

Marriage is a two-way street, like IZ said, and if he can't give you the respect you deserve and treat you like the responsible adult you are, then eventually you won't be able to do that for him either. At which point, you need to get out, because that's when it really becomes bad for the kids. IMHO, it's better to end things a little while before it gets that bad. You don't want them having memories like mine - being physically trapped between my parents as they had a shouting match in the front yard about who was going to pay for my therapy. Way to support recovery, folks, I think I'll just pretend my way out of therapy even though I'm still suicidal...

Anyway, I can't recommend any way to fix this situation, but it might be good to think about and even write down where "the line" is for you - at what point you have to say that this is a sunk cost, and despite what you've invested in it, you're better off leaving the relationship. I suggest giving it a lot of consideration and writing it down so that if/when you're upset later because that line is crossed (and of course, you will be upset and questioning your judgement) you can look back and see that you had already identified that this was the straw that would break everything and it's not just situational/in your head/mood-related/etc. It may also be something you can communicate to your husband, but not as an ultimatum (so that it's not threatening) but rather as "this is the point at which I don't think I can make things work any longer." Fair warning, you know. Of course, if that would set him off - well, obviously, you have to use your best judgement on that.